I had to and thanks to some amazing people that I met along the way, that decision was way easier to make than I expected. But now I got to recover fully before looking for a job. The doctors said I should be able to recover fully in 5-8 weeks. That’s a sobering thought, with finances being tight. But I’ll find a way. -Shain
Thank you, it’s new to me too. I’ve done it only once. And i do not not know how to do most of the things. I just followed the instructions while setting up. Thanks again-Shain
Oh gosh, thanks so much. You can go to the buy me a tea button on this piece. Thank you so much again. I don’t know what to say. This means a lot. Please do not over extend yourself . I don’t want to be a burden. But thank you again.-Shain
Hi Sandra oh my goodness that’s a lot. I think because the tip for one is 7 dollars so 10 doesn’t compute to a hundred. At least that’s what I think. When I was working I did the same for an artist whose photography and manipulation impressed me a lot. Plus it is in black and white, which is my favorite kind of photography. He charged 10 dollars a cup and I sent over about the same amount you are intending. And I was silly because I did it ten times, when I could easily have changed it to ten cups. And again, please do not over extend yourself. I’m just grateful. -Shain
Unflinching, raw, and brilliantly written. You captured something that too often gets glossed over, the way pain is packaged, filtered, and sold back to us.
Thank you for speaking it plain. Not for applause, but because it needed saying.
Your voice is sharp and necessary. I’m glad you shared it.
Thank you for this. That last line,not for applause, but because it needed saying”that’s everything. I wrote this because some truths feel like they’ll rot in your chest if you don’t spit them out. I’ve seen too many people wrap pain in pretty packaging just to make it palatable. I’m done doing that.
I haven’t been in the ‘gutter’ of media that much… I tried to exist without gathering attention just to survive.
But I know whay ‘real media’ can do to people, because I also studied advertising and though I haven’t worked directly, I watched many of my friends lose their soul to the system, day by day.
Many quitted. With panic attacks or cancer diognoses Some remained. I truly am sad for them…
So when I read your piece, I saw all my friends there. A path I haven’t exactly been through, but observed so closely.
And it is not a smaller trauma than what I have with my family :)
You are spot on. But on the flip side there are those who enjoy it. They are so proud of themselves. I see some of them now in their 50s trying to act and dress like they are in their 20s. That to me is the saddest and funniest things I’ve ever seen.-Shain
I wrote this almost 17 years ago . I was sick of being a journalist who couldn’t report what was happening, rather I was being told what to report. That defeats the whole purpose of journalism. As a reaction I wrote this. Being sick at home I read my old journals to see how I have changed over the course of the past 17 years. I found this and i tightened it up and I felt that I should post it. Now, I’m going back to sleep. Thank you so much for reading this.-Shain
Thank you so much for sharing that, Shain. It’s powerful to know the roots of this piece came from such a deep place of frustration and reflection. It’s also a reminder of how our words written in moments of truth can still hold so much meaning years later. I’m glad you decided to revisit and share it. Rest well, and thank you for letting us into that part of your journey.
Great writing about the real grit in life, A suicide attempt, and descent into Portand's dark underworld, a saving act by an undercover DEA agent, a journey through AA and other recovery groups, a stint in a new thought church, friends with successful authors promoting glossy, but largely fake, stories of recovery abd spiritual ascendence, a successful but tormented career with far too many toxic men in the construction industry, but none of that healed me until I squarely faced my traumatic wounding, an amazingly arduous journey of self-discovery, forgiveness, and insight.. I am a real man now, I write prolifically to a small and often disinterested audience, and I now appear to be a wart on the nose of so-called respectability and social acceptance. I love my "wartness" on the botoxed face of American culture.
Honesty and raw 💯
Thank you, for reading and then taking the time to comment. I appreciate that. -Shain
We humans weren’t meant to live this way. Jumping through hoops like an animal. So glad you got away from that toxic environment! 💕
I had to and thanks to some amazing people that I met along the way, that decision was way easier to make than I expected. But now I got to recover fully before looking for a job. The doctors said I should be able to recover fully in 5-8 weeks. That’s a sobering thought, with finances being tight. But I’ll find a way. -Shain
I won’t give up. I will get this figured out! 💕
Thank you, it’s new to me too. I’ve done it only once. And i do not not know how to do most of the things. I just followed the instructions while setting up. Thanks again-Shain
I will get it done!
Shain, are you in the Us or UK I would like to send you some money. Please don’t be shy. I really enjoy your writing. Prayers continue! 💕🙏🏻
How can I send you some money???
Oh gosh, thanks so much. You can go to the buy me a tea button on this piece. Thank you so much again. I don’t know what to say. This means a lot. Please do not over extend yourself . I don’t want to be a burden. But thank you again.-Shain
I can’t find any buy me a tea anywhere.
Can you send me a link?
Hi Sandra here it is: https://buymeacoffee.com/shainparwizwrites
Thank you so much. This means a lot. -Shain
Trying as hard as I can to send you the money. This is all new to me but I will figure it out!
Let me know if you got the full amount or only half. Wasn’t sure it went through the 2nd time.💕
Want to send you $100. I tapped the 10 teas and it didn’t register.
Thought I could just do it twice to get you the $100.
Hi Sandra oh my goodness that’s a lot. I think because the tip for one is 7 dollars so 10 doesn’t compute to a hundred. At least that’s what I think. When I was working I did the same for an artist whose photography and manipulation impressed me a lot. Plus it is in black and white, which is my favorite kind of photography. He charged 10 dollars a cup and I sent over about the same amount you are intending. And I was silly because I did it ten times, when I could easily have changed it to ten cups. And again, please do not over extend yourself. I’m just grateful. -Shain
This was powerful.
Unflinching, raw, and brilliantly written. You captured something that too often gets glossed over, the way pain is packaged, filtered, and sold back to us.
Thank you for speaking it plain. Not for applause, but because it needed saying.
Your voice is sharp and necessary. I’m glad you shared it.
Thank you for this. That last line,not for applause, but because it needed saying”that’s everything. I wrote this because some truths feel like they’ll rot in your chest if you don’t spit them out. I’ve seen too many people wrap pain in pretty packaging just to make it palatable. I’m done doing that.
Glad it landed with you.
Appreciate you reading. Truly.-Shain
https://substack.com/inbox/post/165766640?utm_source=post-email-title&publication_id=5188763&post_id=165766640&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=false&r=2ck269&triedRedirect=true&utm_medium=email
I read your piece as well and it’s really good. Thank you for sharing.-Shain
I haven’t been in the ‘gutter’ of media that much… I tried to exist without gathering attention just to survive.
But I know whay ‘real media’ can do to people, because I also studied advertising and though I haven’t worked directly, I watched many of my friends lose their soul to the system, day by day.
Many quitted. With panic attacks or cancer diognoses Some remained. I truly am sad for them…
So when I read your piece, I saw all my friends there. A path I haven’t exactly been through, but observed so closely.
And it is not a smaller trauma than what I have with my family :)
You are spot on. But on the flip side there are those who enjoy it. They are so proud of themselves. I see some of them now in their 50s trying to act and dress like they are in their 20s. That to me is the saddest and funniest things I’ve ever seen.-Shain
This is vulnerable and raw ? What prompt you to write this I really want to know the thought behind this honest piece.
I wrote this almost 17 years ago . I was sick of being a journalist who couldn’t report what was happening, rather I was being told what to report. That defeats the whole purpose of journalism. As a reaction I wrote this. Being sick at home I read my old journals to see how I have changed over the course of the past 17 years. I found this and i tightened it up and I felt that I should post it. Now, I’m going back to sleep. Thank you so much for reading this.-Shain
Thank you so much for sharing that, Shain. It’s powerful to know the roots of this piece came from such a deep place of frustration and reflection. It’s also a reminder of how our words written in moments of truth can still hold so much meaning years later. I’m glad you decided to revisit and share it. Rest well, and thank you for letting us into that part of your journey.
I’m grateful for you and everyone else that reads my piece.-Shain
Great writing about the real grit in life, A suicide attempt, and descent into Portand's dark underworld, a saving act by an undercover DEA agent, a journey through AA and other recovery groups, a stint in a new thought church, friends with successful authors promoting glossy, but largely fake, stories of recovery abd spiritual ascendence, a successful but tormented career with far too many toxic men in the construction industry, but none of that healed me until I squarely faced my traumatic wounding, an amazingly arduous journey of self-discovery, forgiveness, and insight.. I am a real man now, I write prolifically to a small and often disinterested audience, and I now appear to be a wart on the nose of so-called respectability and social acceptance. I love my "wartness" on the botoxed face of American culture.