Bestie
Lessening The Distance
Artwork By: Shain Parwiz
Dreams of boarding a ship
Just so the world becomes small
Detached myself to find space
Seeking distance and absolution
I wish I could visit the moon
So, I can feel separated and light
The gravity of certain realities
Conspire to erase my soul
A 7-year-old
Should be exempt from trauma
But is undermined
By the very systems that should shield her
The months of her torment
I couldn’t fit with two hands
Praying that the damage done
Is something I can help fix
She tells me every time
To stop calling her smart or giving her a pat
Such a sad reality she’s made to believe
When all she identifies as is dumb and stupid
She introduces me as her bestie
Without knowing how much that meant
And how minuscule I felt
Because I know what was done to her
I take her out to play
To let her learn to socialise
It breaks me always
When I see her flinch when others surround
To protect her
I can’t even begin to swing
Dismissing all my instincts
In a rigged game that I’m backing her to win
I wish it was like Nintendo
A realm where cheat codes existed
But there’s no spawn points
No do overs
Maybe if she was a safe
There would be a combination I could crack
Not to break in
But to release her pain
All these arms can do
Is to ensure that every time
She falls, there’s
Less distance for her to hit
A light I am trying to be
But the ugliness I witness
Is pushing the cynic in me
To once again take hold
Suppress, suppress, suppress
Like I’m a damned silencer
My weapon holds a full magazine but the safety is kept on
Because it’s not to her benefit
What use is an educator
If he can’t shield
When all it takes to destroy a child
Are words on a screen
Author’s Note:
This was written raw.
I had a sequence planned for The Quiet Violence series. But I hate the fact that I can’t protect the kid I teach from the incessant bullying that’s reduced her self worth.
It’s heartbreaking to see any child, let alone one with special needs, become so deflated.
Since I journal furiously to process my emotions and thoughts, Bestie came to fruition.
Sometimes all the planning in the world takes a backseat.
This is a piece I felt I had to publish before I could move on with the rest of the series.
-Shain
